ALMOST PERFECT

By Courtney Barrett

CHAPTER 1

All my life, Ive wanted something more. So many people looked at me like I was different. But I wasnt different, I was just like them. Everyone always expected me to be +perfect. They watched me, waited for me to make a mistake, waited for a reason to mock me. No one knew the real me, the lonely me. Sure, I may have been rich, I may have been smart, but I was not perfect. Everyone thought my life was perfect. My life was nowhere near perfect. I wish it were. I wish I didnt have to wake up every morning to the sound of my screaming mother.

Two years earlier, my father started a business. My mother hated that, she thought that it would fail and we would lose everything. She was miserable. Well, it didnt. His company went off without a hitch. My father became the big Boss Man, as his employees called him. We had money, too much I thought, and a big house. My mother nagged my father until she got a pool shaped in a stiletto heel. I thought my life would improve, but boy was I wrong. My mother was even more miserable than before. She yelled at my father because he would spend all his time at the office. She didnt realize that he was doing it for us. My father was a good man, but my mother didnt think so. She thought he spent all his time at the office to get away from us. Maybe he was just trying to get away from her.

My mother had this fantasy that she was the perfect loving wife and mother. She didnt think I saw the things she did, or heard the things she said. My mother has never been perfect. Ever since I was a little girl shed criticize me. Your getting fat, your not smart enough, shed say. Anything that she didnt think was perfect, wasnt good enough. I really tried to make my mother proud. I got straight As in school, that wasnt good enough. I was runner up in the Miss Junior Sand Tree beauty pageant (Sand tree was the country club we attended), of course that wasnt good enough. One thing my mother always hated about me was my hair. She was a natural blonde, and Im a brunette. So one day I decided to dye my hair blonde, thinking that it would please my mother.  She said I was trying too hard. No matter what I did, I couldnt win.

I love my mom, dont get me wrong, but she expects perfection, and nothing but perfection.  Now, my dad wasnt perfect either. I know that he tried his best to provide for us, but he was always away. He was always working late, trying to get the work done for the next day. The one day I got to see him was Sunday, and even then he was working. I told him that we were okay, that we didnt need any more money, but he kept insisting on more. He was afraid that my mother would leave him if he didnt make enough money for her expectations. I kept thinking Thats not true, my mother loves my father. She wouldnt leave him if he didnt make enough money, would she?. I kept asking myself My mother isnt a gold digger is she?. But I could never tell. Shed always tell me that she loved my father, but I knew there was something else to it.

My parents got married when my mom graduated. She was 17. Everyone thought they married too young, maybe they did. But they were in love, you cant tell two people who love each other not to get married. I think they should have waited, but the thing is my mom was pregnant. My grandmother said it was unethical to have a baby without being married and that she didnt want her grandchild to be a bastard. So, they got married. My mother thought she looked fat, she didnt smile in any of her pictures.

My life wasnt perfect. I dont want to sound depressed either, because I wasnt. I was just confused. I wasnt going to go off on some Im so hard done by, please feel sorry for me trip.

CHAPTER 2

There was one perfect thing in my life though. My dog, Joe. Joe was the best dog anyone could ever think of having. Joe was the only person, yes I think of him as a person, that has never let me down or made me cry. We had a very special relationship, Joe and I. Whenever I wanted to sit and be silent, Joe would sit there right beside me. Whenever I wanted to talk about something so long that I couldnt stand it anymore, Joe would listen. Joe was perfect, in every way. Why he ever came to me Ill never know.

It was in the 10^th grade he came to me. I was walking home from school one day, well limping actually. Earlier that day I got caught in the middle of a fight. Two of my friends were fighting over something stupid. I dont remember exactly what it was. No wait, I remember. They were fighting over what color of poster paper to use on our project. I stepped in and told them both to shut it and they pushed me out of the way and I hit my knee on the stupid statue that my English teacher had beside his desk.

Anyway, back to Joe. While I was walking, he came out of an ally. He was quite an ugly dog at the time. He was underfed, he had open sores all over his body and he had dirty, tangled fur. He wasnt the kind of dog youd want for a pet. But there was something about him, something I couldnt figure out. He looked at me with such sad and worried eyes, almost as to ask me if I was all right. I thought I must have been crazy, so I kept walking. Joe wouldnt take his eyes off me. He kept watching me as I walked. Then he started to follow me, but when I looked back he would sniff the ground like he was searching for something.

Joe followed me for 2 ½  blocks. I had to sit down, my knee was killing me. Joe slowly walked towards me with his head down and tail between his legs. He finally reached me and sat in front of me, and just stared. When I finally stood up, he stood up. When I started walking, hed walk just a few feet behind me. So, I decided to bring Joe home.

Of course, my mother wasnt to thrilled with that idea. Not a chance, I will not have that PEST in my house she said, with a tone all to familiar. She never did like dogs. She took one look at him and almost vomited. I pleaded with her for 2 hours to let him stay. I used the If he was a human, you wouldnt turn him away excuse.  I finally persuaded my mother to let him stay.  We cleaned him up and healed him back to health. It took a lot of patience and love, but we did it. Well, I did it. He became a very loyal, loving dog.

CHAPTER 3

Three months after Joe came into my life, someone left. My grandmother died on her 91^st birthday. We flew to Toronto for her funeral. I saw all my family there, people I hadnt seen for many years.  Friends of my family also attended. My moms oldest friend was there. She had brought her son, Samson. He was the same age as I was. We started talking and became instant friends. He even held me when I cried.

He lived in Toronto and I lived in Regina. We kept in touch for many years, 3 Id say. Every so often he would write me letters. They werent long letters, but they were very thoughtful. Hed tell me how it was in Toronto, and ask me how I was doing. I always loved getting his letters.

Samson was an amazing guy. He was so friendly and funny. He always knew what to say to cheer anyone up. We had an incredible friendship. I never thought I could have a friend like Samson.

I hadnt seen Samson for about 3 ½ years, and although we talked everyday, I was missing him a lot. I was in the middle of writing him a letter when I heard a knock on the door. It was 10 o clock at night so I was a little hesitant to open the door. But then I heard a very familiar voice, a voice I couldnt mistake for anyone other than Samson.

Him and his family had moved to Regina. Samson started to attend my school and wed spend all our time together. My mother became very suspicious. I was 16 and I wasnt aloud to date until I was 17, although my mother liked Samson very much. She thought that there was something more between us. She kept pressuring me and telling me that I wasnt old enough to date. My father kept telling her to stop badgering me and that she would push me away. And she did exactly that. She pushed me so far that I left home, and I took Joe with me.

Samson told me I could stay with him, but I knew my mother would find me there. So I ran to the only person I thought I could count on, my church pastor. He told me that I should go back home, and there was nothing he could do to help. So, I ran from him too.

CHAPTER 4

I ran so far I didnt know where I was. All I knew was I wasnt in Regina anymore. Id taken so many buses and taxis I couldnt tell. I didnt even know how long Id been running. It seemed like hours.

I finally found a motel that would accept pets. The room wasnt too bad, besides the hole in the wall, the dripping tap and the bed that reeked of beer and vomit. That night I didnt get any sleep. The people in the room next to me partied all night long, while the drunken bikers outside yelled and fought.

I really wanted to go back home, but then I remembered my nagging mother and my work-o-holic father. I realized I had nowhere to go. The only person I could turn to was Samson. I called him the next morning. He said he would come out and meet me. The problem? I didnt know where I was.

I finally figured out where I was. I was 20 miles outside of Regina. Samson told me to wait where I was and hed be there as soon as he could. So, I waited. It wasnt long before I saw Samsons old beater truck driving up the highway. He stopped in front of me and I got in the car. Joe was in the back with all my stuff.

I apologized to Samson for asking him to come out. He told me that it was no problem, and that hed always be there for me. While he was talking to me, he placed his hand on my knee. I never thought Id think of Samson in any other way than a friend, but right then I knew I had fallen in love. No one Id ever known would do what Samson did for me that day. He dropped everything and came to help me. That was a true friend.

I knew I couldnt go home and I had nowhere to go. I asked Samson if hed drive me to Edmonton, which was 3 ½ hours away from where we were. Of course he said he would. I wanted to go to Edmonton because that was where my cousin, Sherlyn, lived.  Sherlyn and I were very close, then she got married and moved there to go to university. Now, she was the only person I could go to.

On the way to Edmonton, I told Samson why I left. He reassured me that it wasnt my fault. He said that he would have done the same. I still thought that I was being stupid and selfish for leaving, but I felt there was no other way. My family abandoned me, my mother didnt care about me and my father was always away. He probably didnt even notice I was gone.

CHAPTER 5

We reached Edmonton in 3 hours. I called Sherlyn and told her my situation. She said that shed be happy to help me out. Before we went to Sherlyns we stopped off at the store. I couldnt go there with nothing. When we pulled up to her house she was waiting outside for us. Emotions poured over me when I saw her face. I hadnt seen her in so long, and she was there for me now. Tears were streaming down my face as she opened the door. I hugged her, it seemed forever, and thanked her for helping me. She was the only person, other than Samson, that could help me.

I unpacked my things and introduced her to Samson. She said that he seemed like a very nice guy. Once again, I thanked Samson for everything he did for me. Sherlyn invited him to stay for dinner, so he did. We had a pleasant dinner. No nagging parents, no stupid questions, just a nice quiet talk.

By the time we finished, it was very dark. Sherlyn said that she had an extra room and that Samson could stay. He felt he would be ruining our night. We begged and pleaded for him to stay and he finally gave in.

That night, I couldnt sleep so I snuck into Samsons room. He couldnt sleep either. I got up on the bed with him and we just laid there for a while. I finally fell asleep. I dont know when Samson did, but he was asleep when I woke up in the morning. I tried not to wake him as I got off the bed, but he woke up. I had never seen Samson so beautiful than that exact moment. The sun was shining in his eyes, making them sparkle. I just couldnt take my eyes off him. I finally snapped myself back into reality.

We went downstairs and caught the smell of bacon and eggs. I loved bacon and eggs. As we walked into the kitchen Sherlyn was there, cooking like she always was. She greeted me with a smile. She was always smiling, even when things got rough. Ive always admired her. No matter how sad she got, or how rough things got she would never show it. She always told me that I shouldnt feel sorry for her when so many people were dying. She had such a kind heart. Shes always been the kind of person to help anybody, or anything that was in need.

I remember one time, when she was younger. There was an injured rabbit. She found him in a bush. She tried so hard to heal it back to its normal self. It worked, for a little while. She was keeping him in the bathtub. One morning she woke up early to go and check on Harold, as she named him. She opened the door, and usually Harold would wake up as he heard the creak, but this time he didnt. Sherlyn was heartbroken. She had convinced herself that it was her fault and that she failed. We all tried to tell her that she did all she could, but she still thought she failed.

Anyway, enough with the flashbacks. Those bacon and eggs were the best Id ever tasted. Maybe it was because I had no nagging mother on my side, or because I had the best sleep Id had in months.

I realized something that morning. I was happy. I was truly happy. I didnt have a lot of money but I had something that was worth so much more. I had love, I had true love. I knew my cousin loved me and I knew I loved Samson. What I didnt know was that he loved me too.

CHAPTER 6

I didnt want Samson to leave, but he said hed have to go back to Regina. As I watched him drive away I knew Id miss him everyday that I wasnt with him. I wanted to run after him and tell him how I felt, but I was scared. I kept thinking What if he doesnt feel the same? But I had to tell him.

My mother phoned that day. She found me. Oh great, she found me, I thought. Now shed yell at me and tell me to get on the next bus home. But she didnt. Why didnt she? I thought for sure shed want me back home. She was my mother. How could she not want me home? These are questions I still ask myself today.

Sherlyn was talking to my mom for 2 hours while I sat in the next room, waiting to hear what my mother said. I wondered if my mother wanted me to come home. If Id known she did, I probably would have gone back. Not for her, for Samson. It would have helped me if I known she would have wanted me to come home, if she missed me just a little.

When Sherlyn finally got off the phone, she came to talk to me. She told me my mother didnt want me back home. My mother said that if she aggravated me so much to the point where I ran away, than I shouldnt be around her. This broke my heart, but I didnt cry about it. There was nothing I could do to change my mothers mind, I knew that. She also told me that my mother had left my father. Just as I thought, she left him because he wasnt making enough money. So my mom was a gold digger. All those years I thought she actually loved him.

Sherlyn and I talked about my feelings a lot that night. She said it would help me. I remember thinking What a load of crap, it would help me if Samson was here. I had no feelings towards my mother anymore, other than hate and anger.  I wished I could have been with Samson then, but I had Joe. As always, I had Joe. He knew exactly what I was feeling. Joe was a great dog. Sherlyn left me alone with Joe. I always felt more comfortable talking to Joe, even if he couldnt talk back. He would always listen to me.

While I was talking to Joe, I heard Sherlyn talking to someone. I wondered who it was, because her husband wasnt home. I hugged Joe and opened the door, just a crack so I could hear who she was talking to.

CHAPTER 7

I got halfway home, and missed her too much. I heard Samsons voice. I opened the door and saw him. My first reaction was to cry, but I didnt. Instead I ran to him and told him how much I missed him. He told me why he came back; Ill never forget what he said to me. I cant live a day without you. How could I leave you? I love you. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I started crying and told him how much I loved him too.

I told him what happened with my mother. I told him I couldnt go home, but I couldnt stay at Sherlyns forever either. I only meant to stay there for a couple weeks, just enough for me to find a job and an apartment.

Samson wanted to help me; he always wanted to help me. So we spent another night with Sherlyn and went looking for an apartment in the morning, after another serving of bacon and eggs. We found the perfect house. It was about 10 minuets away from Sherlyn. This house was beautiful. It was like the houses in the movies that youve always wanted but never thought you could have. It was 2 stories and of course, it had a white picket fence.

It was the most amazing house Id ever seen. Samson and I bought it together. He said he didnt want to leave me. So, we moved in with a fresh new start. I barely had anything. Just my clothes, my best friend, and my dog. I felt like I had everything. Everything, except a job.  I went to find a job that afternoon. I had no previous work experience, so I didnt know what kind of job I was going to get. I got the perfect job. The woman I worked for said that everyone needed a chance.

I worked my butt of that summer. I needed to get back on my feet enough to live comfortably. Buying the house drained me of all my money, but I didnt mind. Neither did Samson. He loved me whether I was rich or poor.

I worked for a fashion company for 20 years, and then it went out of business. It was a very hectic job, but I loved it. Everyone there was so understanding and supportive. They were like my family. I finally felt like I was accepted. No one was looking at me and waiting for me to make a mistake. Even when I did make one, no one cared. They knew I was human and that no one was perfect. They just told me to try again. I loved my life.

CHAPTER 8

Everything was going great. I finally got my life back on track. Then, the unthinkable happened. My precious Joe left my life. I dont know exactly what happened but Samson went to let Joe out for his morning run and he found Joe. He was lying in his bed. Im guessing he died in his sleep.

I knew exactly what happened when Samson came in the bedroom holding the lifeless Joe in his arms. That was the first time I had cried since Samson came back. I couldnt believe it. My best friend, the one person I could always turn to when nothing else made sense, was gone.

Joe was very precious to me. He had been with me the whole time, and put up with me. I couldnt believe he was gone. I remember that I wouldnt let go of his pookey bear for days. That was his teddy bear. Even now, I still think of Joe. Everyday I remember the raggedy little dog that followed me home.

CHAPTER 9

We buried Joe in the local pet cemetery and visited him every week. On his tombstone we put The little dog that could.

Joe changed my life. When I brought him home, my mother thought that he would be a pest and Id give up on him. But I could never give up on him, and he never gave up on me. He was the best dog anyone could ever want.

Samson changed my life too.  From that day at my grandmothers funeral until now, weve been the best of friends.

Samson and I got married on my 20^th birthday. It was an amazing wedding. My mother wasnt there. She married some old guy and he died 2 months later and she got all his money. My father passed away at the age of 56. He had a heart attack. I wish I could have been with my father, but I know hes up in heaven watching me.

Samson and I had two children, Joe and Samantha. They loved each other so much; we had to pry them apart. Without Samson I dont know where I would be today.

I knew this day would come, but I never wanted it to. Samson never wanted to live a day without me, and I never want to live a day without him.